The Retro Gamer team is, as you might have guessed, staffed only by the most squeaky-clean, unimpeachable characters you would ever hope to meet. Or at least, that’s how it would appear. But friends, we harbour dark secrets.

You see, we love stuff. That’s no surprise, if you look at our gaming collections, but we’re never satisfied. We always want more, and with begging and borrowing out of the way, the only thing left to do is to steal – possessions, money, livelihoods, it doesn’t matter. We don’t care who it belongs to, or why they might need it – what’s ours is ours and what’s theirs is ours too. We should be sorry about that, but the simple fact is that we’re not.

Of course while we might not be sorry, we’re also not idiots and there’s no chance we’re getting sent to prison, so we have to find a healthy outlet. Cue Thief: The Dark Project, the stealth game that all the cool kids were playing while the world was wetting its pants over Metal Gear Solid. This allowed our PCs to become portals to unrestrained (by which we mean carefully planned and flawlessly executed) thievery, sating our dark desires temporarily.

That’s it – that’s the appeal. We love transgression. We love murdering people in Grand Theft Auto, we love cheating on people in Catherine, we love mentioning non-retro games on the Retro Gamer website and we absolutely adore stealing in Thief. We’re lovely, though. Honest.